San Francisco, CA- Daniel Chen, spokesman and constituent director for California senator, Kamala Harris, announced that the California junior senator has been diagnosed with HIV-×.
“While this is a sad day for our political family, we feel an obligation to inform our local constituents and national followers,” Chen began. “Senator Harris has been diagnosed with late stage HIV-×. Senator Harris received the initial diagnosis early last week and that diagnosis was later confirmed by other professionals.”
In a video message, senator Harris spoke to her followers concerning her disease. “It has been a difficult week to say the least,” Harris started. “I asked my doctors if I could have contracted this vile disease from sharing dirty needles with Willie Brown?”
Doctors informed Ms. Harris that her disease is mental.
“HIV-×, better known as ‘Horney Insecure Vagina’ is, in fact, a skank based disease brought on by limited intelligence, an immense desire for power, attention and adulation, and a propensity for using one’s vagina to gain job opportunities,” Dr. Richard Head told TheNetSpies. “This skank based disease presents after years of skanky behavior has propelled the host to lofty professional heights. Once the host reaches a pinnacle, they run out of disgusting benefactors to skank for. At this point, the disease begins to manifest in many ways, ie; lying, holding double standards, false racial identity, failure to get any work done, and super-skanking are all symptoms and manifestations of HIV-×.”
When asked if Harris had ever skanked for him, George Soros exclaimed, “I have never fucked a camel!”