RAPINOE SPORTS WOOD

Reuters: Leaked Test Results; Rapinoe Is A Hermaphrodite

Paris, FR- Reuters has just published an explosive expose that could cost the US women’s soccer team their World Cup championship. In the report, French journalist, Obee G. Wyen, states that soccer star, Megan Rapinoe, is actually not a woman, but rather a hermaphrodite. International soccer rules do not allow for the use of hermaphrodites … Read more

Magic Goldberg Transitioning.

LA Times: Magic Johnson Transitioning

Los Angeles, CA- Los Angeles has had it’s share of big drama over the last several decades, what with the shenanigans of Charlie Manson, OJ Simpson and the like. This new revelation will really put the “la-la” into LA-LA Land.  “Magic Johnson has been keeping a low profile for the last few months,” stated Kawanna … Read more

The Pope Spies On Little Boys

Pope Francis: Adam Schiff Should Be Believed

Vatican City- In his usual style of late, Pope Francis pontificated to a massive audience of over 70 people about the evils of the Trump Administration. From a balcony at the Apostolic Palace, Pope Francis dealt a message to the faithful. “There is no future in building walls. The world belongs to all peoples. We … Read more

Biden is a perv

Joe Biden Apologizes For Being A Perverted Weasel

Scranton, PA- In a stopover on his “good ol’ boy” apology tour, Joe Biden told the Scranton Times he had more apologies to give. “Not only do I need to apologize to that woman, Anita Hill,” Biden began, “but I also need to apologize to all of the women of the world.” When reporters prompted … Read more

Smollett sucks Obama's dick on netflix

Smollett Inks Lucrative Deal With NETFLIX

Chicago, IL- In a late Sunday announcement, Smollett attorney, Victor Pugh, dropped a bomb on a crowded lobby at the Millennium Knickerbocker hotel. “Today, Mr. Smollett, at the urging of President Obama, signed a multi year and very lucrative acting and directing contract with NETFLIX,” started Pugh. “President Obama was instrumental in making this deal … Read more

Smollett is a puppet for the Clintons hoax. Smollett sucks dick.

Smollett: The Clintons Paid Me To Perpetrate Ruse

Chicago, IL- In an afternoon press conference, Chicago police superintendent, Eddie Riccio, announced that there has been a significant turn of events in the Smollett case. “Just this morning, during further questioning of Jessie Smollett, we were able to get an admission from Mr. Smollett that the entire story of his assault was a hoax,” … Read more

Justin Fairfax tiny baby penis

Fairfax Proves Women Are Lying About Sexual Assaults

Richmond, VA- Embattled Virginia Lieutenant Governor, Justin Fairfax, took bold steps today to prove his innocence in regards to numerous complaints of sexual assault lodged against him. “Several women from my past have come forward with false claims of sexual assault,” Fairfax began his presser. “Today, since there is still a possibility that criminal charges … Read more

Trump crushes O'Rourke.

President Trump Crushes O’Rourke In Tweet

Washington, DC – President Trump crushed Dem hopeful, Betty O’Rourke, like a stale Pall Mall this morning. Democrats hate America. How can anyone hate the greatest country in world history. We are the envy of the civilized world. All problems in America, and the world, have been created by politicians. Stop creating problems, Congress! Do … Read more

BOOGER EATING SKANK

BREAKING: Kamala Harris Diagnosed With HIV-×

San Francisco, CA- Daniel Chen, spokesman and constituent director for California senator, Kamala Harris, announced that the California junior senator has been diagnosed with HIV-×. “While this is a sad day for our political family, we feel an obligation to inform our local constituents and national followers,” Chen began. “Senator Harris has been diagnosed with … Read more

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