Strokey Joe Biden

Biden’s Massive Stroke Scheduled For September 28, 2020

Washington, DC – According to a leaked e-mail between Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer, democratic front-runner, Joe Biden, has been scheduled to suffer a massive and debilitating stroke on September 28th, 2020, just prior to any presidential debates. Biden has never done well in debates and his dementia has made things even worse. He still … Read more

Newsom Bans Farting

Covid-19: Newsom Bans Farting In California.

Sacramento, CA- California governor, Gavin Newsom, is pulling out all of the stops in an effort to slow the spread of Covid-19. Or rather, he is pushing all of the stops in as he orders Californians to stop farting immediately. “We know that the aerosol from our breath has a six foot spray pattern,” Newsom … Read more

Wear the mask or go to jail.

ACLU Sues Newsome Over Mask Mandate

Sacramento, CA- The Sacramento chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), a normally rabidly liberal legal group, filed a lawsuit and injunction order against California governor, Gavin Newsome, in regards to Newsome’s facemask mandate. The Sacramento County Sheriff also announced that they will not be enforcing the mandate. In a prepared public briefing, Sacramento … Read more

Lake Of The Pines To Open FEMA Camp On 4/25

Nevada County, CA- The census designated community, Lake of the Pines, in Nevada County, California, has offered to be the first of 1,000 FEMA refugee camps in the state. County supervisor, Ed Scofield, was delighted to get such an immediate response to his plea for a host for his communist state plans. “We were hoping … Read more

TWO ECONOMIC DOWNTURN EXPERTS.

Biden Offers Bernie New Cabinet Post To Withdraw

Scranton, PA- In a sinister and horrific twist, Reuters is about to publish an expose of the twisted inner sanctum of the Democratic Party. While the world should finally applaud the news media actually doing their job, you can bet the trolls at CNN, MSNBC, CBS, NBC, ABC (OMG, can we puke now) will play … Read more

Deval The Devil

The Deval Went Down To D.C.

The Deval went down to D.C., he was lookin’ for an election to steal. He was in a bind, ‘cuz he was way behind, and he was lookin’ to make a deal. When he came upon an old man tearing up the airwaves and crushing it hot, the Deval jumped up on his political stump … Read more

LIBERAL DEMOCRATS STINK

American Dental Association: Democrats Stink!

Chicago, IL- In a recently completed study, the American Dental Association has concluded that people who identify as Democrats STINK! “We have just concluded a nationwide study in which we were interested to see if there was any correlation between dental health issues and political affiliation,” began Dr. Jefrey Cole, president of the American Dental … Read more

RAPINOE SPORTS WOOD

Reuters: Leaked Test Results; Rapinoe Is A Hermaphrodite

Paris, FR- Reuters has just published an explosive expose that could cost the US women’s soccer team their World Cup championship. In the report, French journalist, Obee G. Wyen, states that soccer star, Megan Rapinoe, is actually not a woman, but rather a hermaphrodite. International soccer rules do not allow for the use of hermaphrodites … Read more

Magic Goldberg Transitioning.

LA Times: Magic Johnson Transitioning

Los Angeles, CA- Los Angeles has had it’s share of big drama over the last several decades, what with the shenanigans of Charlie Manson, OJ Simpson and the like. This new revelation will really put the “la-la” into LA-LA Land.  “Magic Johnson has been keeping a low profile for the last few months,” stated Kawanna … Read more

The Pope Spies On Little Boys

Pope Francis: Adam Schiff Should Be Believed

Vatican City- In his usual style of late, Pope Francis pontificated to a massive audience of over 70 people about the evils of the Trump Administration. From a balcony at the Apostolic Palace, Pope Francis dealt a message to the faithful. “There is no future in building walls. The world belongs to all peoples. We … Read more

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