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Reuters: Leaked Test Results; Rapinoe Is A Hermaphrodite

Paris, FR- Reuters has just published an explosive expose that could cost the US women’s soccer team their World Cup championship. In the report, French journalist, Obee G. Wyen, states that soccer star, Megan Rapinoe, is actually not a woman, but rather a hermaphrodite. International soccer rules do not allow for the use of hermaphrodites … Read more

Magic Goldberg Transitioning.

LA Times: Magic Johnson Transitioning

Los Angeles, CA- Los Angeles has had it’s share of big drama over the last several decades, what with the shenanigans of Charlie Manson, OJ Simpson and the like. This new revelation will really put the “la-la” into LA-LA Land.  “Magic Johnson has been keeping a low profile for the last few months,” stated Kawanna … Read more

The Pope Spies On Little Boys

Pope Francis: Adam Schiff Should Be Believed

Vatican City- In his usual style of late, Pope Francis pontificated to a massive audience of over 70 people about the evils of the Trump Administration. From a balcony at the Apostolic Palace, Pope Francis dealt a message to the faithful. “There is no future in building walls. The world belongs to all peoples. We … Read more

Smollett sucks Obama's dick on netflix

Smollett Inks Lucrative Deal With NETFLIX

Chicago, IL- In a late Sunday announcement, Smollett attorney, Victor Pugh, dropped a bomb on a crowded lobby at the Millennium Knickerbocker hotel. “Today, Mr. Smollett, at the urging of President Obama, signed a multi year and very lucrative acting and directing contract with NETFLIX,” started Pugh. “President Obama was instrumental in making this deal … Read more

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Fairfax Proves Women Are Lying About Sexual Assaults

Richmond, VA- Embattled Virginia Lieutenant Governor, Justin Fairfax, took bold steps today to prove his innocence in regards to numerous complaints of sexual assault lodged against him. “Several women from my past have come forward with false claims of sexual assault,” Fairfax began his presser. “Today, since there is still a possibility that criminal charges … Read more

Trump crushes O'Rourke.

President Trump Crushes O’Rourke In Tweet

Washington, DC – President Trump crushed Dem hopeful, Betty O’Rourke, like a stale Pall Mall this morning. Democrats hate America. How can anyone hate the greatest country in world history. We are the envy of the civilized world. All problems in America, and the world, have been created by politicians. Stop creating problems, Congress! Do … Read more

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BREAKING: Kamala Harris Diagnosed With HIV-×

San Francisco, CA- Daniel Chen, spokesman and constituent director for California senator, Kamala Harris, announced that the California junior senator has been diagnosed with HIV-×. “While this is a sad day for our political family, we feel an obligation to inform our local constituents and national followers,” Chen began. “Senator Harris has been diagnosed with … Read more

Abrams hideous smile

President Trump Comments On Abrams’ Hideous Smile

Washington, DC – President Trump is taking his State of the Union address very seriously. He has a feeling he is going to be able to sway voters hearts and minds away from all of the Democratic Party rhetoric. The one thing he doesn’t seem too concerned about, is the Democrats choice for their rebuttal, … Read more

Trump pokes fun at pelosi

President Trump Takes A Poke At Nancy The Witch

Washington, DC- President Trump, obviously tired of hearing Nancy Pelosi’s endless jibber jabber about her canceled flight, took a public shot at the house speaker in his favorite forum… Twitter. “He canceled my flight just minutes before we were to leave, leaving us stranded,” whined Pelosi. “Then he announced, to Islamic terrorists around the world, … Read more

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