New York, NY- Today, the United Nations (UN) and the World Health Organization (WHO) certified the United States of America as Earth’s newest 3rd world nation.
“It is with great regret, and a little personal satisfaction, that today we officially welcome the USA into the ‘3rd World Nations’ family,” began UN president, Maria Fernanda Espinosa Garces. “It has taken much time for the decay to bring America to her knees. Thank you to our socialist American partners who have made this dream a reality. Our Democrat partners have replaced once bustling urban areas with blight, sewage and despair. San Francisco, Detroit, Dallas, Los Angeles, New York and many more American cities have become blighted ghetto scenes ravaged by drug addiction, disease, violence and Americans aborting their children before and after birth. Now, we call on President Trump to end his #MAGA fight and allow the inevitable death of this once great nation.”
“Over the last 50 years, there has been a great underground push to return communicable disease to the United States,” crowed Tedros Adhanom, the director of WHO. “Once eradicated communicable diseases are not only on the rise in America, but are only a sneeze away from epidemic proportion. More disease is on the horizon now that it is legal to shit right in the streets. You can hardly tell the difference between San Francisco and Tijuana. The heartbeat of the new world can just be heard under the death rattle of the old world.”