Obama Contemplates Suicide As Democratic Party Fails


Fajardo, PR- Former president, Barack Obama on vacation in Puerto Rico was captured by photographers contemplating suicide on the edge of a cliff.

The former president, whose legacy (weak as it was) is being calculatingly dismantled by his replacement , Donald Trump , is reported to be despondent in a Fajardo institution.

“I have been speaking with Mr. Obama at length since he arrived at our hospital,” reported chief psychiatric resident, Dr. Ivan Tamayo. “It appears that the loss of two more political races for his party, in conjunction with Donald Trump erasing his legacy, has pushed Mr. Obama over the edge… literally.”

The former American president was grabbed and dragged to safety by some locals who were out enjoying the sun and sea.

“We didn’t know he was famous,” stated Rodrigo Flores in Spanish. “We just thought he was some weird guy crying on the cliff. He just kept saying, “there’s no more safe space… there’s no more safe space.’ We realized he was going to jump to his death and we stopped him.”

Various reports were swirling as to the whereabouts of the former presidents Secret Service detail. It seems that the agents were spotted in a gay bath house in Fajardo at the time of the attempted suicide incident.

“We are not sure if there are any other reasons, other than the abject failure of his party, for the apparent depression being experienced by Mr. Obama,” continued Dr. Tamayo. “Blood tests have shown an excessive amount of Kool-Aid in his system. That could be an underlying factor in his poor health.”

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