Cruz and god

Ted Cruz: God Is Punishing Florida And Texas For Voting For Trump


Houston, TX- In a speech before the Congress Of Christian Knights (COCK), Texas senator, Ted Cruz had some very grim words for those who support the President.

“These are the days of Revelations,” shouted Cruz as he hopped up and down on the stage. “The Lord is coming and is he ever pissed! Isn’t it interesting that the two states that had the most electoral votes that went to Trump have been devastated, and continue to be devastated, by Mother Nature? These hurricanes are the wrath of God, sent to punish GOP voters who did not vote for me.”

Senator Cruz had been invited to give an oral performance to the COCK group after their chairman, Pat McGroin heard Cruz speak about the perils of turning your vote against God. “The Lord wants all good Christians to vote for someone that uplifts the cross,” stated McGroin. “Senator Cruz is the man God had chosen to preside this great nation. The people didn’t listen to the Lord’s instruction and now they pay the price.”

Cruz went on to say that more states that voted for Trump could expect Mother Nature to pay a Hellish visit to them too. “Earthquakes and drought in Utah and Arizona, tornadoes throughout the plains and mid-west, swarms of locusts, safe spaces popping up everywhere in red states, man buns as far as the eye can see… the nightmare has just begun!”

We interviewed some of the members of COCK as they were exiting the building. Some felt that senator Cruz was on to something. Other felt that Cruz was still a bit butt-hurt over Donald Trump trouncing him and exposing his wife as a prostitute during the primaries.

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