St. Louis, MO- In what the left is calling an illegal backroom deal and a constitutional crisis, President Trump, on his inauguration day in 2017, secretly inked a deal with multinational agrochemical giant, Monsanto, to reduce the reproductive birthrate of illegal aliens within the United States borders.
“Today is a great day for Monsanto and the US taxpayer,” announced Hugh Grant, chairman and CEO of Monsanto. “The Monsanto Company received authorization for a $200 million grant from the federal government last year that will make us brothers in arms in the fight to curb and cease the ability for illegal aliens from south of the border to reproduce here in our country.”
The $200 million federal research and development grant was approved through the USDA, at the urging of President Trump, in an effort to stem the tide of out of control reproduction of illegal aliens known as “anchor babies”. Anchor babies have, at least to this point in history, allowed illegal aliens to achieve legal status because their child is regarded as an American citizen. These children are generally birthed at taxpayer expense and then funded by state and federal social welfare programs at huge expense to the American taxpayer.
“We do a great deal of research and development in the fields of agricultural biotechnology and agrochemical application here at Monsanto,” Grant continued. “We are honored to join the Trump Administration in seeking a resolution to the ever increasing problem of illegal immigration. We have developed a process that will not only allow us to revolutionize the pinto bean market, but also will create a strain of pinto bean that will render those who consume the beans sterile. As everyone knows, the pinto bean is the number one staple in the diet of those people south of the border. They can feel free to go on humping like bunnies on crack, but there will be no more anchor babies to follow.”
Monsanto says that they expect their pinto beans to be in the marketplace by the 5th of May.