Obama fingers Chicago and America

Obama Clears Smollett Crimes In Chicago

Chicago, IL – In an astounding turn of events, out of nowhere, Cook County State’s Attorneys dropped all charges in the Smollett hate crime hoax after a clandestine meeting with Barack Obama over the weekend in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. After first attempting to deny that the meeting took place, and once the Obama Secret Service Detail … Read more

Smollett is a puppet for the Clintons hoax. Smollett sucks dick.

Smollett: The Clintons Paid Me To Perpetrate Ruse

Chicago, IL- In an afternoon press conference, Chicago police superintendent, Eddie Riccio, announced that there has been a significant turn of events in the Smollett case. “Just this morning, during further questioning of Jessie Smollett, we were able to get an admission from Mr. Smollett that the entire story of his assault was a hoax,” … Read more

Americans demand Congress get to work.

Asylum Caravans March From Detroit And Chicago To DC

Detroit, MI- Huge throngs of Americans, estimated in the hundreds of thousands, began their march, from Detroit and Chicago, seeking asylum in the nation’s capitol today. “Our cities used to be beautiful burgeoning hubs for manufacturing and commerce,” said march organizer and Detroit resident, Darnell Robinson. “Now we are just a big deadly shithole! People … Read more

TRUMP LENDS A HAND TO DEMOCRATS AND ILLEGALS

Trump Strikes Deal With Monsanto To Curb Illegal Alien Reproduction

St. Louis, MO- In what the left is calling an illegal backroom deal and a constitutional crisis, President Trump, on his inauguration day in 2017,  secretly inked a deal with multinational agrochemical giant, Monsanto, to reduce the reproductive birthrate of illegal aliens within the United States borders. “Today is a great day for Monsanto and … Read more

Amtrak Train Engineer Was Syrian Refugee

Tacoma, WA- Local authorities are now reporting that the Amtrak 501 train that crashed this morning was piloted by a former Syrian refugee who entered the country through the visa lottery program 6 years ago. According to Pierce County sherrif’s office public information officer, Paul Slider, the train’s engineer, Mahmood al’Basheer, had been piloting trains … Read more

scaramucci foul mouth, swearing

Scaramucci Wants To Get Back To The Future

Washington, DC- At this morning’s press briefing, new White House communications director, Michael J. Scaramucci announced that the President has called for a yuge investment into the future. “The President and I are working hard to move this [expletive deleted] country into the future,” Scaramucci began. “While those [expletive deleted] democrats want to give you … Read more

CRIMINAL CONGRESS

The Russian Hacking Investigation Makes One Thing Perfectly Clear

San Francisco, CA- We have now heard testimony before Congress, ad nauseum. We have heard the pundit spin doctors who tell us what we should think, to a sickening degree. And what have we learned? We have learned that everyone in our federal government, elected, appointed or hired, is just another cog in an enormous … Read more

Liberals are drunken losers

Trump, Sessions Introduce New Drinking Game

Washington, DC- President Donald Trump and Attorney General Jeff Sessions, in keeping with the absurdity of national politics, are ready to introduce a new drinking game to the American public. “Jeff [Sessions} and I figured, if we can’t stop the obstructionists from ruining the country, at least we can all go down with a smile … Read more

TRUMP BOMB SAN FRANCISCO

Trump Backs Off North Korea And With Good Reason

Atlanta, GA- In his address to the NRA in Atlanta today, President Donald Trump announced, amongst other things, that he would be backing off of the North Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un and his backward country. “After great thought and negotiations with various other nations, I have decided that my administration will be backing off … Read more

TRUMP GETS TOUGH ON DEMOCRATS

Trump Tax Plan To Double Taxes Of All Registered Democrats

Washington, DC- US Secretary of the Treasury, Steve Mnuchin detailed President Trump’s tax reform plans this morning in a briefing from the White House. “President Trump is proposing dramatic reductions in taxes by overhauling the behemoth tax system in America,” Mnuchin said. “We will be cutting taxes for every American taxpayer and every American business. … Read more

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