Washington, DC- President Donald Trump and Attorney General Jeff Sessions, in keeping with the absurdity of national politics, are ready to introduce a new drinking game to the American public.
“Jeff [Sessions} and I figured, if we can’t stop the obstructionists from ruining the country, at least we can all go down with a smile on our faces,” quipped President Trump with a grin in a brief oval office media opportunity. “We thought the American public should have a little fun while the Democrats are embroiled in all of this nonsense. Plus, it gives that drunken hag, Crooked Hillary a legitimate reason to be drunk all day”
“The rules of the game are pretty simple and straight forward,” chuckled Sessions, “not like anything else here in DC. We wanted to build a game that Ted Kennedy would be proud of, not to mention give the Clintons a reason to live.”
“When you see that wrinkled up old prune Nancy Pelosi on tv doing her patented shake and stutter routine, do a shot,” cackled President Trump. “When Chuck Schumer cries, do a shot and punch a guy with a man-bun. When Hillary is on tv telling the world how they let her drunken ass down, do an anal shot with a turkey baster (her preferred mode). When Tom Perez comes on tv, do two shots and say “shit” every other word. When Diane Feinstein is on tv, puke and start over. If you see Cory Booker, do a shot and shout out, Marion Barry! When you see Maxine Waters and she is talking like Mushmouth from the Fat Albert show, do a shot and blast the tv with a sawed off twelve gauge. If you see or even hear the name Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren, do six shots and email her home address to ISIS.”
AG Sessions says they are still working on the rules of the game, but they feel confident that they will have it out to the public by mid June. “This should help normal people take the edge off of the liberal hysteria. Hell, the liberal hysteria is getting so bad, I’m thinking I might have to legalize marijuana and drop the legal drinking age to 16 to get through this nightmare.”