Smollett sucks Obama's dick on netflix

Smollett Inks Lucrative Deal With NETFLIX

Chicago, IL- In a late Sunday announcement, Smollett attorney, Victor Pugh, dropped a bomb on a crowded lobby at the Millennium Knickerbocker hotel. “Today, Mr. Smollett, at the urging of President Obama, signed a multi year and very lucrative acting and directing contract with NETFLIX,” started Pugh. “President Obama was instrumental in making this deal … Read more

Justin Fairfax tiny baby penis

Fairfax Proves Women Are Lying About Sexual Assaults

Richmond, VA- Embattled Virginia Lieutenant Governor, Justin Fairfax, took bold steps today to prove his innocence in regards to numerous complaints of sexual assault lodged against him. “Several women from my past have come forward with false claims of sexual assault,” Fairfax began his presser. “Today, since there is still a possibility that criminal charges … Read more

Trump crushes O'Rourke.

President Trump Crushes O’Rourke In Tweet

Washington, DC – President Trump crushed Dem hopeful, Betty O’Rourke, like a stale Pall Mall this morning. Democrats hate America. How can anyone hate the greatest country in world history. We are the envy of the civilized world. All problems in America, and the world, have been created by politicians. Stop creating problems, Congress! Do … Read more

BOOGER EATING SKANK

BREAKING: Kamala Harris Diagnosed With HIV-×

San Francisco, CA- Daniel Chen, spokesman and constituent director for California senator, Kamala Harris, announced that the California junior senator has been diagnosed with HIV-×. “While this is a sad day for our political family, we feel an obligation to inform our local constituents and national followers,” Chen began. “Senator Harris has been diagnosed with … Read more

Abrams hideous smile

President Trump Comments On Abrams’ Hideous Smile

Washington, DC – President Trump is taking his State of the Union address very seriously. He has a feeling he is going to be able to sway voters hearts and minds away from all of the Democratic Party rhetoric. The one thing he doesn’t seem too concerned about, is the Democrats choice for their rebuttal, … Read more

Trump pokes fun at pelosi

President Trump Takes A Poke At Nancy The Witch

Washington, DC- President Trump, obviously tired of hearing Nancy Pelosi’s endless jibber jabber about her canceled flight, took a public shot at the house speaker in his favorite forum… Twitter. “He canceled my flight just minutes before we were to leave, leaving us stranded,” whined Pelosi. “Then he announced, to Islamic terrorists around the world, … Read more

Jim Acosta Found Dead in Fort Marcy Park

CNN: Jim Acosta Found Dead In Fort Marcy Park

Mclean, VA- In a stunning and unexpected turn of events, Wolf Blitzer, CNN’s loveable dementia ridden anchor, has announced that embattled White House pool enforcer, Jim Acosta, has been found dead in Fort Marcy Park in Virginia. “These are dark times in America,” Blitzer began. “We, in the media, are plagued with a bully President … Read more

OCASIO-CORTEZ NOT MY PRESIDENT CHALLENGE

Ocasio-Cortez Urges Liberals To Join “Not My President” Challenge

East Elmhurst, NY- The surprises just keep coming from the Democrat’s new socialist darling, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Today was no exception, as the upstart community organizer pleaded with her would be constituents to join her in a showdown with President Trump for all the marbles… literally. Ocasio-Cortez turned up in East Elmhurst today with that wild … Read more

Maxine Waters is Trump's Bitch

The Trumps Finally Add A Dog To The White House Family

Washington, D.C.- While the White House seems to have been steeped in chaos for the last eighteen months, due to liberal interference and resistance, it hasn’t gone unnoticed by the President that the Trumps had no White House dog. The Donald was at a crossroad. Every US President since 1901 had a pooch at the … Read more

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