Liberals are drunken losers

Trump, Sessions Introduce New Drinking Game

Washington, DC- President Donald Trump and Attorney General Jeff Sessions, in keeping with the absurdity of national politics, are ready to introduce a new drinking game to the American public. “Jeff [Sessions} and I figured, if we can’t stop the obstructionists from ruining the country, at least we can all go down with a smile … Read more

Mormons allow gays

Breaking: Mormon Church To Allow Homosexuals Full Membership

Salt Lake City, UT- Local CBS affiliate KSL 5 reporter, Lori Prichard broke a bombshell story this morning on KSL 5 News Today. Reporting live from Temple Square, Prichard released a previously taped announcement from recently deceaced church president, Thomas Monson. “After more than a century and a half of discrimination, the LDS (Mormon) Church … Read more

TRUMP BOMB SAN FRANCISCO

Trump Backs Off North Korea And With Good Reason

Atlanta, GA- In his address to the NRA in Atlanta today, President Donald Trump announced, amongst other things, that he would be backing off of the North Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un and his backward country. “After great thought and negotiations with various other nations, I have decided that my administration will be backing off … Read more

RACIST JAY LENO

Jay Leno’s Wife Claims He Is An Out Of Control Racist

Hollywood, CA- In a shocking interview with Entertainment Tonight’s Kevin Frazier, Mavis Leno, the wife of legendary comedian, Jay Leno, dropped a bombshell of epic proportion. “It’s really difficult to live and thrive in this town,” Mrs. Leno began. “The liberal vibe is so palpable and it can get into your head. I think that … Read more

ASSHAT Perez has herpes.

Thomas Perez Forces DNC Vote To Change Democratic Party Name

Washington, DC- According to CNN’s chief political reporter, Dana Bash, DNC chairman, Thomas Perez has put out an ultimatum to the Democratic party in a speech he gave today while on tour with Bernie Sanders. “Our party has lost it’s way,” sounded Perez. “Our party leaders don’t stand for anything. All we have been saying … Read more

Al Cowlings and O.J. Simpson flee police in 1994

Cleveland Gunman Calls Al Cowlings For A Ride

Cleveland, OH- According to CNN, sources inside the murder investigation of Robert Goodwin Sr., Cleveland gunman, Steve Stephens reportedly placed a call to former O.J. Simpson murder accomplice, Al Cowlings. Sources told CNN that the FBI is monitoring calls from the cell phone of the infamous murder suspect in an effort to track his plans … Read more

Fright wig on a stick

Dame Fright Wig On A Stick To Play Maxine Waters In Bio Movie

Los Angeles, CA- Paramount Pictures execs announced today that they have approved a deal for a Maxine Waters biography movie. “We have been working on this deal for several years,” said Marc Evans, Paramount president. “It was a real brain scratcher. The story didn’t test well. I mean, who wants to spend 2 hours and … Read more

Bannon, Priebus Outlaws

BREAKING: Pair Sought In Connection With Trump Coup Plot

Washington, DC- Reuters news agency Deparment of Justice reporter, Julia Harte, has just released a bombshell report about an internal plot to assassinate President Trump. “I have just been informed by my official Justice Department sources that the FBI is actively searching for Mr. Steve Bannon and Mr. Reince Priebus, both high ranking Trump administration … Read more

Soros, Obama Grooming Ca Senator Kamala Harris For 2020 Presidency

Oakland, CA- According to research and reports by the Sturgis-Fellowes Institute, billionaire George Soros and former president Obama are waging a campaign to slip the new junior California senator, Kamala Harris into the White House in 2020. “Because there was such broad appeal for Soros’ protégé, Barack Obama, Mr. Soros has been searching for a … Read more

Maryland Street Gang Rapes Muslim Men, Forces Them To Eat Bacon

Rockville, MD- A breaking news report from NBC affiliate WBAL in Baltimore Maryland says that police are seeking more than a dozen members of the Black Guerrilla Family street gang in connection with alleged sexual assault of several Muslim immigrant men. “We are currently investigating claims from several local residents that were taken hostage and forced … Read more

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