WHO’S WATCHING THE GOVERNMENT THAT IS WATCHING YOU?
San Francisco, CA- In a special Tuesday press conference to address sanctuary city policy in San Francisco, Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-Ca) was asked about the safety of American citizens in light of current events the last few weeks in Florida and Texas. “The school shootings must stop!” Pelosi began. “This is 21st century America and … Read more
Washington, DC- Reuters Washington bureau chief, Marilyn Thompson is reporting that at 6:30 pm, eastern standard time, the lifeless body of former FBI deputy director, Andrew McCabe was discovered by joggers in Fort Marcy Park in Virginia. “We received a call at 6:32 pm from persons who were jogging in the park reporting what appeared … Read more
Broward County, FL- In a Fox News exclusive, David Hogg, the CNN shill in the wake of the Parkland school shooting, admitted to parroting the words and phrases fed to him by CNN in exchange for cash, airtime, and internet exposure. “I am just a teenager that was seduced by the sweet talking, money waving … Read more
Los Angeles, CA- Los Angeles Times reporter and assistant managing editor, Kristina Bellatori dropped another bombshell in what can only be described as the ongoing US Congressional and political sex and domestic violence scandal this afternoon. “The Rob Porter domestic violence fiasco seems to have turned more than just the White House upside down,” Bellatori … Read more
St. Louis, MO- In what the left is calling an illegal backroom deal and a constitutional crisis, President Trump, on his inauguration day in 2017, secretly inked a deal with multinational agrochemical giant, Monsanto, to reduce the reproductive birthrate of illegal aliens within the United States borders. “Today is a great day for Monsanto and … Read more
Houston, TX- In a speech before the Congress Of Christian Knights (COCK), Texas senator, Ted Cruz had some very grim words for those who support the President. “These are the days of Revelations,” shouted Cruz as he hopped up and down on the stage. “The Lord is coming and is he ever pissed! Isn’t it … Read more
San Diego, CA- CNN is reporting that United States Customs and the Department of Homeland Security announced today that they have apprehended and detained actor/comedian, Bill Cosby at the US/Mexico border crossing in San Diego. Mr. Cosby, a comic staple in the 70’s and television mogul in the 80’s, had been placed on house arrest … Read more
Washington, DC- At this morning’s press briefing, new White House communications director, Michael J. Scaramucci announced that the President has called for a yuge investment into the future. “The President and I are working hard to move this [expletive deleted] country into the future,” Scaramucci began. “While those [expletive deleted] democrats want to give you … Read more
Salt Lake City, UT- A melee broke out on the University of Utah campus this morning as university police and a large contingent of students clashed during an attempted arrest of John Chapman 8th, better known in the millennial culture as Johnny Cannaseed. “He was just minding his own business and talking with everyone,” said … Read more
Fajardo, PR- Former president, Barack Obama on vacation in Puerto Rico was captured by photographers contemplating suicide on the edge of a cliff. The former president, whose legacy (weak as it was) is being calculatingly dismantled by his replacement , Donald Trump , is reported to be despondent in a Fajardo institution. “I have been … Read more