WHO’S WATCHING THE GOVERNMENT THAT IS WATCHING YOU?
Washington, DC- Chuck Schumer, in an effort to show support for Barrack Obama’s legacy, Muslims and the One Global World, married a 6 year old Muslim girl. “Someone has to make a stand against the white privilege of WASP America. Someone has to fight this travel ban,” cried Senator Schumer. “It is an outrage how … Read more
Los Angeles, CA- At this hour, CNN is confirming reports that comedian, Amy Schumer was found deceased this morning at her Hollywood Hills apartment. Although the coroner’s office has not yet had time to release any reports, witnesses told CNN that it looked very much like a heroine overdose. “She was all blue and purple … Read more
Paris, FR- The Pope was in Paris today to announce the grand opening of a new theme park and rollercoaster inside of the historic Notre Dame Cathedral. “Due to the ever decreasing numbers in both visitors to the cathedral and membership in the church, we have taken bold steps to increase the numbers in both … Read more
Washington, DC- President Donald Trump and Attorney General Jeff Sessions, in keeping with the absurdity of national politics, are ready to introduce a new drinking game to the American public. “Jeff [Sessions} and I figured, if we can’t stop the obstructionists from ruining the country, at least we can all go down with a smile … Read more
Salt Lake City, UT- Local CBS affiliate KSL 5 reporter, Lori Prichard broke a bombshell story this morning on KSL 5 News Today. Reporting live from Temple Square, Prichard released a previously taped announcement from recently deceaced church president, Thomas Monson. “After more than a century and a half of discrimination, the LDS (Mormon) Church … Read more
Atlanta, GA- In his address to the NRA in Atlanta today, President Donald Trump announced, amongst other things, that he would be backing off of the North Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un and his backward country. “After great thought and negotiations with various other nations, I have decided that my administration will be backing off … Read more
Hollywood, CA- In a shocking interview with Entertainment Tonight’s Kevin Frazier, Mavis Leno, the wife of legendary comedian, Jay Leno, dropped a bombshell of epic proportion. “It’s really difficult to live and thrive in this town,” Mrs. Leno began. “The liberal vibe is so palpable and it can get into your head. I think that … Read more
Washington, DC- According to CNN’s chief political reporter, Dana Bash, DNC chairman, Thomas Perez has put out an ultimatum to the Democratic party in a speech he gave today while on tour with Bernie Sanders. “Our party has lost it’s way,” sounded Perez. “Our party leaders don’t stand for anything. All we have been saying … Read more
Cleveland, OH- According to CNN, sources inside the murder investigation of Robert Goodwin Sr., Cleveland gunman, Steve Stephens reportedly placed a call to former O.J. Simpson murder accomplice, Al Cowlings. Sources told CNN that the FBI is monitoring calls from the cell phone of the infamous murder suspect in an effort to track his plans … Read more
Los Angeles, CA- Paramount Pictures execs announced today that they have approved a deal for a Maxine Waters biography movie. “We have been working on this deal for several years,” said Marc Evans, Paramount president. “It was a real brain scratcher. The story didn’t test well. I mean, who wants to spend 2 hours and … Read more