Zombie Whore Apocalypse Comes To University Of Michigan

Ann Arbor, MI- A new trend on college campuses has made it’s way to Ann Arbor. The Zombie Whore Apocalypse is a trending sexual fetish where oversexed co-eds get all dolled up in sexually promiscuous attire and zombie makeup and roam the campus in a lusty search for… well, not brains. “I love it!” exclaimed … Read more

Mavi Drug Scare Claiming Young Lives

Los Angeles, Ca.- There was a shocking revelation coming from the Redondo Beach Unified School District today. School superintendent, James Whitemore, as well as Redondo Beach police chief, Ron McNulty spoke to a crowd of concerned parents and reporters at a press conference this morning in regards to a fast growing health concern that has … Read more

President Trump Blames Obama And Lemon For 9/11

Washington, DC- President Trump is Tweeting again. This time he is blaming the events of 9/11/2001 on former President Obama and CNN host, Don Lemon. “President Trump is taking the truth to the people,” boldly stated Trump spokeswoman, KellyAnne Conway to a group of Associated Press reporters. “The President has the proof that will show … Read more

Help! Where Does The Constitution Require The Government To Provide Healthcare?

Surely our Founding Fathers could not have foreseen a need for health insurance. While insurance policies have existed since the 3rd millennia BC, insurance was generally limited to the shipping of goods. Health insurance didn’t exist in the US until the early 20th century. Back in the day, some folks paid their doctor with cash. … Read more

AG Sessions To Charge Violent Berkeley Protesters With Terrorism

Washington, DC- Attorney General, Jeff Sessions pulled the USA Freedom Act (formerly the Patriot Act) out of his pocket at a special news conference this morning and announced that he would charge each violent protester at the Berkeley rally with domestic terrorism. He also announced that any further violent acts on behalf of leftist ideology … Read more

Mexican Protesters Halt WGC Mexico City Tournament

Mexico City, MX- Mexican citizens came out in droves to protest the policies of the American president at the WGC Mexico City Championship. “They just seemed to appear from nowhere,” said an upset Dustin Johnson, who was leading by four strokes when the rukus started. “This is golf, not politics. What the [expletive deleted] is … Read more

Democrats Reinvent Cold War Anxiety To Discredit Trump

Washington, DC- Dirty politics as usual in DC? Democrat politicians have set out on a plot to reinvent the anxiety and anguish of the cold war in an effort to discredit and possibly move toward impeachment proceedings of President Trump and his staff. After World War II, tensions between the United States and Soviet Russia … Read more

NY Senator Schumer’s Mistress Goes On Record

New York, NY- In a bombshell revelation today, the mistress of New York senator, Chuck Schumer, went on record about the clandestine relationship she has had with the senator for the last 7 years. Originally from Rhodesia, she is known only as Miss Stella. She was smuggled into the US and sold on the black … Read more

Big Government And Your Cannabis

What is the big furor over the legalization of cannabis? Some people want it legalized. Some don’t. Some people just don’t care, yet it seems to be a big headline around the nation. Let’s examine this for a minute. 50 years ago the government could have taken a reasonable path on the use of cannabis. … Read more

The Piranha Wins DNC Chair Position

Atlanta, GA- Thomas Perez, aka The Piranha to insiders, won the battle to become the next Democratic National Committee chairperson. “It was a tough battle,” declared Mr. Perez as saliva spewed from his lips. “Keith (Ellison) was a worthy opponent. That is why I am naming him my deputy chair.” It should be a pretty … Read more

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