BOOGER EATING SKANK

BREAKING: Kamala Harris Diagnosed With HIV-×

San Francisco, CA- Daniel Chen, spokesman and constituent director for California senator, Kamala Harris, announced that the California junior senator has been diagnosed with HIV-×. “While this is a sad day for our political family, we feel an obligation to inform our local constituents and national followers,” Chen began. “Senator Harris has been diagnosed with … Read more

Abrams hideous smile

President Trump Comments On Abrams’ Hideous Smile

Washington, DC – President Trump is taking his State of the Union address very seriously. He has a feeling he is going to be able to sway voters hearts and minds away from all of the Democratic Party rhetoric. The one thing he doesn’t seem too concerned about, is the Democrats choice for their rebuttal, … Read more

Trump pokes fun at pelosi

President Trump Takes A Poke At Nancy The Witch

Washington, DC- President Trump, obviously tired of hearing Nancy Pelosi’s endless jibber jabber about her canceled flight, took a public shot at the house speaker in his favorite forum… Twitter. “He canceled my flight just minutes before we were to leave, leaving us stranded,” whined Pelosi. “Then he announced, to Islamic terrorists around the world, … Read more

Phil and Tiger disappoint in the debacle in the desert

PGA: Phil And Tiger To Reimburse Fans For “The Match”

Las Vegas, NV- After scathing reviews of the less than poor performances of Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods in “The Match”, both golfers have vowed to reimburse every fan that ordered the abysmal attempt to take golf to pay per view. “We didn’t prepare,” admitted Mickelson. “We thought we could just show up and thrill … Read more

Jim Acosta Found Dead in Fort Marcy Park

CNN: Jim Acosta Found Dead In Fort Marcy Park

Mclean, VA- In a stunning and unexpected turn of events, Wolf Blitzer, CNN’s loveable dementia ridden anchor, has announced that embattled White House pool enforcer, Jim Acosta, has been found dead in Fort Marcy Park in Virginia. “These are dark times in America,” Blitzer began. “We, in the media, are plagued with a bully President … Read more

Steven Tyler is Caitlyn Jenner

Caitlyn Jenner To Grace SI’s Swimsuit Cover

New York, NY- Stephen Cannella, the managing editor for Sports Illustrated magazine, dropped a bombshell on the entire world today when he announced that Caitlyn Jenner would be the featured star of the world renowned SI swimsuit issue. “We, at Sports Illustrated, are very proud to announce that Caitlyn Jenner will be the focal point … Read more

OCASIO-CORTEZ NOT MY PRESIDENT CHALLENGE

Ocasio-Cortez Urges Liberals To Join “Not My President” Challenge

East Elmhurst, NY- The surprises just keep coming from the Democrat’s new socialist darling, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Today was no exception, as the upstart community organizer pleaded with her would be constituents to join her in a showdown with President Trump for all the marbles… literally. Ocasio-Cortez turned up in East Elmhurst today with that wild … Read more

Maxine Waters is Trump's Bitch

The Trumps Finally Add A Dog To The White House Family

Washington, D.C.- While the White House seems to have been steeped in chaos for the last eighteen months, due to liberal interference and resistance, it hasn’t gone unnoticed by the President that the Trumps had no White House dog. The Donald was at a crossroad. Every US President since 1901 had a pooch at the … Read more

Trump urges seniors to got to college for free if socialists prevail.

Trump Admin Urging Seniors To Take Advantage Of Dem’s Free College

Washington, DC- In a press release today, the Trump Administration is urging all seniors to gear up and take full advantage of the Democrat’s free college tuition plan, should the Socialists ever regain power. While that might be music to the ears of high school seniors around the nation, those are not the seniors the … Read more

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