Liberals are drunken losers

Trump, Sessions Introduce New Drinking Game

Washington, DC- President Donald Trump and Attorney General Jeff Sessions, in keeping with the absurdity of national politics, are ready to introduce a new drinking game to the American public. “Jeff [Sessions} and I figured, if we can’t stop the obstructionists from ruining the country, at least we can all go down with a smile … Read more

TRUMP BOMB SAN FRANCISCO

Trump Backs Off North Korea And With Good Reason

Atlanta, GA- In his address to the NRA in Atlanta today, President Donald Trump announced, amongst other things, that he would be backing off of the North Korean dictator, Kim Jung Un and his backward country. “After great thought and negotiations with various other nations, I have decided that my administration will be backing off … Read more

TRUMP GETS TOUGH ON DEMOCRATS

Trump Tax Plan To Double Taxes Of All Registered Democrats

Washington, DC- US Secretary of the Treasury, Steve Mnuchin detailed President Trump’s tax reform plans this morning in a briefing from the White House. “President Trump is proposing dramatic reductions in taxes by overhauling the behemoth tax system in America,” Mnuchin said. “We will be cutting taxes for every American taxpayer and every American business. … Read more

WARREN SAYS YOU ARE A RACIST

Elizabeth Warren Says YOU Are A Racist

Washington, DC- In a moment of insanity, moments that seem to happen all too often with Senator Warren, Ms. Warren told MSNBC’s Rachel Madcow that Trump voters are a racist stew. “People are right to be angry, but Donald Trump said it’s their fault; those other people. Those people who don’t worship like you. Those … Read more

ASSHAT Perez has herpes.

Thomas Perez Forces DNC Vote To Change Democratic Party Name

Washington, DC- According to CNN’s chief political reporter, Dana Bash, DNC chairman, Thomas Perez has put out an ultimatum to the Democratic party in a speech he gave today while on tour with Bernie Sanders. “Our party has lost it’s way,” sounded Perez. “Our party leaders don’t stand for anything. All we have been saying … Read more

Bannon, Priebus Outlaws

BREAKING: Pair Sought In Connection With Trump Coup Plot

Washington, DC- Reuters news agency Deparment of Justice reporter, Julia Harte, has just released a bombshell report about an internal plot to assassinate President Trump. “I have just been informed by my official Justice Department sources that the FBI is actively searching for Mr. Steve Bannon and Mr. Reince Priebus, both high ranking Trump administration … Read more

Reuters: CA Congressman Found Dead In Fort Marcy Park, VA

Washington, DC- Reuters Washington bureau chief, Marilyn Thompson is reporting that at 6:30 pm, eastern standard time, the lifeless body of California congressman, Devin Nunes was discovered by joggers in Fort Marcy Park in Virginia. “We received a call at 6:32 pm from persons who were jogging in the park reporting what appeared to be … Read more

Your Legislators Are Killing You And Your Country

Dear US Representatives and Senators, This communication is meant for you specifically. YOU have been elected to represent ME in Washington, DC. I am not happy with you, or your cronies. The collective bulwark methods of governing, as well as your “Good Ol Boy’s Club” attitude are no longer tolerable to the constituents across this nation. … Read more

Maryland Street Gang Rapes Muslim Men, Forces Them To Eat Bacon

Rockville, MD- A breaking news report from NBC affiliate WBAL in Baltimore Maryland says that police are seeking more than a dozen members of the Black Guerrilla Family street gang in connection with alleged sexual assault of several Muslim immigrant men. “We are currently investigating claims from several local residents that were taken hostage and forced … Read more

Ted Cruz And Lindsey Graham To Vote No On Gorsuch Appointment

Washington, DC- According to AP reporter, Julie Pace, Senators Ted Cruz and Lindsey Graham will be voting no on the appointment of Neil Gorsuch to the SCOTUS bench if the GOP leadership chooses the nuclear option. “If Judge Gorsuch is unable to garner the necessary votes for approval, we will be standing with Americans and … Read more

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